A wise, accomplished woman – who raised one of my all time favorite people – once gave me important advice: leave yourself alone.
According to me, this is the most important time of year to leave yourself alone. This season leads me to very weird behaviors if I am not careful. I am either picking away at my schedule, some flaking paint in my living room, my face, or my existential dread — all to feel some sort of illusive “progress.”
New year's resolutions were hot for a long time. Now the anti-resolution is hot. Turns out, resolving not to resolve is still resolving. I have seen charming lists making rounds on the internet about softened resolutions, like noticing birds and foraging ramps and hosting more beloveds for dinner. This all sounds wonderful, but if making it a resolution also gives you an excuse to be an ass hole to yourself, then spare yourself the list. Leave yourself alone.
Nature is snoozing. You are likely signing on and off of work with very little sunlight on either end. Many of our Ancestors on this hemisphere prepared all year to leave things alone in the colder months. You can do the same. I would dislike very much for you to make promises to yourself and your world right now that you won’t want to keep in the months to come.
If this time of year feels like a magical little portal to cast spells and set intentions, then by all means, go ahead. I am not trying to stop your magic. I am asking you to give yourself some grace from quantifying or solidifying practices. Perhaps use this time to follow your body’s lead and do what feels good without the applied pressure of making it stick.
TLDR: if you feel like sprinting, sprint. If you feel like cartwheeling, cartwheel. If you feel like high tea on a Thursday, find a great outfit. The medicine is in letting yourself be where and how you want to be. Leave “should” alone. Treat it like poison.
Nothing about you needs fixing. Nothing about you needs tinkering. I promise you that you will find what you are looking for – internally or externally – when you finally just leave yourself alone for a bit. It is only when you’ve quieted the inner chitter chatter that you will be able to hear the guidance of your Ancestors and inner knowing. Your magic will appear when you stop trying to put it on a schedule. Your most potent gifts await you on the other side of giving the Gregorian Calendar the middle finger.
Some questions to ask yourself:
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