Everything is birth work because life is riddled with thresholds. Thresholds of birth, death, loss, new projects, grocery stores, break ups, classes, Saturn Returns, choices we know will change it all, choices we know will change nothing, starting a new day or ending a shitty one.
My birth experience was also my first close-up experience with death. After my daughter died in labour and was stillborn, I was left to live a life I never could have imagined…I didn’t have a doula, and none of the care professionals in my hospital or community were able to be the support I would have liked to have had during that time where both my motherhood & my grieving were brand new. It’s taken some time for me to realize that I can be that person for birthing people, especially those experiencing loss or a pregnancy after loss, as a doula. Thank you for your words. They’re right on time for me 🤍
I resonate so much with this and know that feeling of being half way through the figurative birth canal and wanting it to be overrr.
Last night I met the mother of a Trans woman who will be accompanying her to Thailand next month for her bottom surgery. My boyfriend said, "you get to see her be birthed again."
Isn't it amazing that the one constant in life - change and impermanence, is actually something we don't really prepare for and as you say focus on getting back to how things were rather than a sensitivity to the new requirements of transformation. I have been watching a young woman living next to me "getting back " to the same sort of social life and body as pre birth and thinking after reading your column how that simply sets her against herself - creates resentment that her life is now "limited" rather than different. Thank you so much for your insight - it's incredibly wise.
what a great read! thank you for all the metaphors here. i wish i had many doulas for all of life’s big changes and the invitation to be my own doula is something i will sit with for some time.
I'm a postpartum doula in training and just love how doula-ing looks so different but all has the same purpose to support and guide people through transition. I never stopped to think about how being as kind and graceful towards myself during my year of change was my way of being my own doula 💓
Indeed. I just got certified as a death doula and am looking forward to doing this important work.
My birth experience was also my first close-up experience with death. After my daughter died in labour and was stillborn, I was left to live a life I never could have imagined…I didn’t have a doula, and none of the care professionals in my hospital or community were able to be the support I would have liked to have had during that time where both my motherhood & my grieving were brand new. It’s taken some time for me to realize that I can be that person for birthing people, especially those experiencing loss or a pregnancy after loss, as a doula. Thank you for your words. They’re right on time for me 🤍
oh my. peace to you. How terribly difficult and sad.
I resonate so much with this and know that feeling of being half way through the figurative birth canal and wanting it to be overrr.
Last night I met the mother of a Trans woman who will be accompanying her to Thailand next month for her bottom surgery. My boyfriend said, "you get to see her be birthed again."
Omg my heart 😭💓😭💓😭💓
Right?! You could tell that it struck her too. "Oh my God, I'm going to cry" to strangers... who were no longer strangers
Thank you for this sharing of how impactful birth work, doula support is, to all of Life beyond just labor & postpartum! 💚
Isn't it amazing that the one constant in life - change and impermanence, is actually something we don't really prepare for and as you say focus on getting back to how things were rather than a sensitivity to the new requirements of transformation. I have been watching a young woman living next to me "getting back " to the same sort of social life and body as pre birth and thinking after reading your column how that simply sets her against herself - creates resentment that her life is now "limited" rather than different. Thank you so much for your insight - it's incredibly wise.
what a great read! thank you for all the metaphors here. i wish i had many doulas for all of life’s big changes and the invitation to be my own doula is something i will sit with for some time.
I'm a postpartum doula in training and just love how doula-ing looks so different but all has the same purpose to support and guide people through transition. I never stopped to think about how being as kind and graceful towards myself during my year of change was my way of being my own doula 💓